Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Planet of the spoons - Part 2

Previously on planet of the spoons.
The spoons have constructed a machine that allows them to take a Quantum Leap and appear on distant lands, but the machine had one critical fault - those pesky quantums are always so uncertain. The spoons where debating who should be assigned to watch the machine, when the forks tried to take control of the machine. The spoons quickly realized that true unison is achieved by fighting against others. And so, the story of the spoons continues.

Many historians still debate how the spoons won the war against the violent forks, as it was not in their nature to be instruments of war. Some believe the forks where overpowered by brilliant tactical maneuvers. General Spoony , leader[1] of the spoon army explains : "Wars are not won by numbers or training, wars are won by kicking the enemy in the silverware when their back is turned."
However, other historians say the defeat could be best attributed to the fact that the forks didn't know where the quantum machine was, and where actually on their way to the annual fork convention.

Wars are known around the world as the leading cause of activists, and the Spoon War was no different. Even though the war was very short and was considered by all[2] to have been a clear victory, some still manage to find fault, as some always do.

The anti-war movement was led by Made-In-China - foreign ambassador to the Spoon Council, who criticized the war for being a half measure that would only lead to further conflict. The activists believed that the only way to avoid future wars was to get rid of all the enemies. Their argument was that wars are fought against enemies, so: No enemies = No wars. This would have been a popular bumper sticker, but none of the spoons owned cars (or bumpers).

A spoon mathematician later proved that the equation was, in fact, false. The anti war movement retaliated by defining said mathematician as "the enemy" and proved the opposite. The incident helped the activists realize that by naming new enemies and getting rid of them they can advance the coming of ultimate peace. unfortunately for the anti-war movement (but fortunately for everyone else) someone pointed out to them that by defining enemies, they were becoming enemies of their enemies themselves, and the anti-war movement was forced to eliminate itself.

....To (maybe) be continued...

[1] - no one could remember how he became general, nor could they agree on what it was exactly he did during the war, therefore they assumed it was the job of a general to take credit for victory.

[2] - All spoons. No one else seems to have noticed this war.

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