Thursday, March 19, 2009

War of the Worlds

H.G Wells got the title right. Indeed there is a war going on. A War between Worlds. War between the world of man and the aliens that live amongst us.

This is the story of one man’s struggle in a battle against the odds to defeat the invaders from another world.

It all started years ago when I was living in an apartment not very far from the botanical gardens in Jerusalem. i suspected nothing when I moved in. There was no sign. No declaration of war. No warning shot. They always came at night, just as I was getting to sleep. They waited, sticking to the walls, biding their time. Suddenly – bang! One of them would create a diversion. I did not realize this at the time, but they wanted to get me out of the protection of the covers. They wanted me to bring back the light so they could mark their target.

As soon as the light came on they would start flying around it, circling it in widening and narrowing circles. Looking for an opening to strike. When the light was off again they would send their kamikaze fighters to crash into me as I was trying to hide. There was nothing I could do, they were too many.

I decided to beat them at their own game, they will not outwit me with their mind games. I will prepare a trap for them! I opened a window, and lured them out with the porch light. As soon as they got out I would shut the window and turn off the light.

This worked for a while, but they finally figured out my little ruse. Instead of all going at once they would send a scout. If he got trapped they would immediately counter attack, smashing into everything!

Then I tried keeping the window shut all the time. They really didn’t like that. I was sitting in my room one day, minding my own business, when suddenly I was hit in the back of the head. In the middle of the day no less!

I tought maybe i should try and reason with them: “Try to see it my way” I said, “Do I have to keep talking ‘till I can’t go on?”

They circled the lamp to show their agreement, so I continued:

“Think of what I’m saying, We can work it out, and get it straight or say good night”.

They obviously didn’t like the idea of night, as one of them did a flyby as a warning. I figured they must be angry about something. Perhaps because they were only here for a short time. Maybe they feared night time as every night brought them closer to their inevitable demise. I thought it was worth a shot , so i looked them strait in the eyes and in a calm and direct manner I told them:

“life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing and fighting my friend”.

This has to stop”. I was shocked! They can talk! Moths can talk!

“what do you mean” I said hesitantly.

It’s bordering on copyright infringement”.

“huh?” I was baffled.

The Beatles song. Listen, we’re from the RIAA.

“The RIAA??”

We are here to monitor file-sharing activity.

“Shouldn’t you be monitor internet traffic then?” For some reason this seemed like the proper response.

We tried that for a while, but they told us we should get out more, do some field work

“Field work?” this was getting stranger by the minuet.

Packet sniffing”.

“Packet sniffing?”

We have a very keen sense of smell, we are very small, and we can get into many places. Naturally, we are the best candidates for the job”. They sounded very proud.

"I see." i really didn't. "Well, why here then?"

"We heard reports about music coming from this location"

"Mmmmm... ok, But music is not illegal right?"

"You are replicating Copyrighted materials"

"No i am not, i am just listening to music!"

"So you admit it! The analog replication of digital music is prohibited under copyright law"

" am pretty sure listening to music is protected under fair use"

"Many do. They are wrong."

"So you're saying i am not allowed to listen to music?"

"Under U.S Copyright law making ten copies or more is considered a felony"

"So i can listen to a song ten times?"

"Technically nine, ten would be a felony."

"And this doesn't seem ridiculous to you?"

"We are talking Moths working for the RIAA, what do you think?"

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